Yesterday I celebrated the second anniversary of my first testosterone shot by going to brunch with a few close friends. I am very lucky to have these people in my life.
Time sure flies when you’re going through second puberty… Anyway, I’m glad I made voice videos for the majority of my first year of transition. It’s always fun to go back and see how far I’ve come. It’s also abundantly clear that I was really depressed when making most of the videos. I was feeling the weight of having to constantly reinforce who I was and how I was going to be treated while silently hoping that that the changes were going to be what I imagined. Luckily, as time has gone on the testosterone has taken effect, and it has greatly alleviated my dysphoria. Honestly, there are very few weeks that go by that I don’t catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and have to fight back tears. I feel strong and handsome in a way I never have before.
People have asked me which tranniversary this is for me, which is a fair question. I guess I could have five: one for my coming out as transgender (6/3/15), another for my legal name change (12/2/15), another for my testosterone shot (3/25/16), another for my top surgery (12/13/16), and another for when I got my gender marker changed on my license (1/20/2017). All these events obviously are significant to me, but the anniversary of my first testosterone shot is particularly important.
I don’t mean to glorify my ability to medically transition, and I recognize the immense privilege I have in being able to transition, given the just the costs. Also, it’s important to reiterate that I was no less a man the day before my shot. While July 3, 2015 was when I first told the world who I am, March 25, 2016 was when I first felt like the most me. Obviously it would take months for the changes to become apparent but having that first shot gave me so much hope for the future–hope that the world would see me as I knew I was and hope that the man of my dreams could be the man in the mirror. As a side note, March 25, 2015 was the day I found out I was accepted to Georgia Law, so the day is especially… special.
All the best,