I’m back in Athens for another semester of law school. I’m pretty happy to be back here in Athens. This holiday break was a whirlwind of emotions. I enjoyed spending time with my mom and sister, but there was so much other stuff going on that it wore me out.
I was supposed to have lunch with my Atlanta Legal Aid people on Friday, but a false alarm for snow caused us to table lunch until another time. I definitely miss all my Health Law peeps! I was also supposed to have a drink with my friend, Grumpy Cat, but at the time I thought it would be best to head on to Athens. I think the political climate will make this semester a little extra difficult, so I’m kinda sad that he’s going to be in Atlanta this semester. He’s been a dear friend through this election fiasco. (Now don’t get a big head, Grumpy Cat!)
I’m lucky to have a trans guy friend who lives close by. He’s been nice enough to help me get my stuff back and forth from the law school. It’s going to be at least another week before I can carry anything of substantial weight. I just plan on camping out at the law school on the days that I’m there and leaving everything in my locker overnight.
As much as I hate my limited movement and forced dependence on others to do the simplest of things, I couldn’t be happier with my new chest. While parts of my chest are healing slower than expected, I don’t have words for the joy that it brings me. Truthfully, having top surgery, like most of my physical transition, has been a bit of a leap of faith. I haven’t been 100% sure of anything thus far. Maybe that’s the lawyer in me–always questioning and appreciating the merits of “the other side”– but I’ve just been doing what I think will make me happy. And looking at my chest in the mirror does just that.
Every time I look in the mirror I can’t help but simultaneously break out into the biggest smile and fight back tears. Growing up not really knowing that you are trans is kind of like having bad eyesight, and not even knowing it. Don’t get me wrong, I always knew that the girlhood that society thrust upon me didn’t describe me at all, but I didn’t just pop out saying “I’m transgender.” But now it’s like I have these wonderful glasses. I can finally see how much I’ve missed out on, and how beautiful life really can be when lived authentically. It hasn’t been easy, but I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat.
All the best,