I just noticed that I’m two days past my 8 month anniversary on testosterone. Wow. Time flies when you’re in law school hell I guess haha
My voice has leveled off for the most part. I dropped down in my T dose for a month, and now I’m back to a full dose. I’m hoping this will push my voice down a little lower. I have gotten to where I can go out wearing a big sweatshirt without a chest binder and not get misgendered. I do think I’m looking a lot more masculine these days. Facial hair is starting to sprout, so I’m sure that will help.
I’m 16 days away from surgery, and the closer the day gets, the more anxiety I get. I just hope it turns out like I picture it. I can’t help but worry that something may go wrong, or I might not be completely satisfied with the result. I’m going to arguably the best surgeon in the country, but I’m still pretty anxious about it.
It doesn’t help that I’m also really stressed out about finals and a paper I’m writing. My first final is on Wednesday–Constitutional Law II. My paper is about legal challenges to bathroom use based on gender identity. It’s the kind of paper that I could keep working on and maybe get published. We shall see.
All the best,
I’m writing this week’s post at the laundromat. For those of you who aren’t my Facebook friend, I got called a faggot on Monday at the laundromat. I didn’t see the guy who did it. I just heard him say it as I walked by on my way out. It stung for sure. A couple of my friends said that on the bright side, at least I was recognized as a man. But I’m not so sure that faggot is reserved just for gay men, at least today.
My sister came to visit on Friday. We went to the UGA football game and to lunch on Saturday. I gave her a vegan cookbook for her birthday, and she seemed to really like it.
Today is Transgender Day of Remembrance. Every November 20th the trans community comes together to honor the lives taken from us due to trans violence. There was an event in Atlanta today, but I had too much work here to go to it. OUTlaw is having a small event for it tomorrow at the law school. I hope people can make it.
Well finals season is upon us. I won’t be able to go home for Thanksgiving, and my mom and sister won’t be coming down this year. I have too much to do for finals. The life of a law student…
All the best,
Well, my life and the lives of people in other marginalized communities just became very different thanks to the election. I couldn’t bring myself to leave my apartment the day after the election. I cried for four days straight. This has been one of the most emotionally draining weeks of my life, and I am afraid that the next two years, at least, will be more of the same.
Despite the emotional devastation that I have felt since Tuesday, I have also felt an outpouring of love from my UGA Law family. Faculty, staff, administration, and students have reached out to me to check on my well-being. I went to dinner on Friday night with other LGBTQ and ally UGA Law people. We ate pizza (mine with ranch dressing because I’m 12), laughed, shared our coming out stories, vented, and laughed some more. I felt a lot better after Friday night.
On Saturday, I went to the first Athens trans support group meeting. I really enjoyed it. I always am re-energized by spending time with other trans people. I think it will be beneficial to have a group to talk to. And there was a cute UGA student there…
Today, I had lunch with a couple of my law buddies and have spent the rest of the day in the library. I have an ungodly amount of work to do since I wasn’t really up for much last week. I feel myself slipping back into the dark place I was at on Wednesday. I’m just trying to make it through finals–30 days until top surgery.
I did update my “About” section of my blog. I hope you’ll take a second to check it out.
All the best,
This has been an odd week. A friend of mine asked me if there is something inherent in the word “transgender” that makes people automatically think of my gender assigned at birth. I think that for me, that the word transgender is just referring to facial change from my gender assigned to me at birth to my true male gender. I think my friend was just trying to figure out why law school people keep misgendering me. I still don’t know exactly. I’ll have to think some more on it.
I did have the awkward experience of a law school friend misgendering me and then crying because she did it. I still don’t know exactly what to think about it. I guess in a weird way, at least someone understood that misgendering me really does hurt. I just wish it would stop.
Well I plan on voting Tuesday morning. I hope I don’t have any problems with the poll workers. I think I look enough like my license. Wish me luck. And if you couldn’t already tell, I am enthusiastically with her. Go vote!
All the best,