Well another week has gone by, and another successful shot of testosterone has been administered. This past Friday was my seventh one, if I counted right, but we all know lawyers can’t do any sort of math… haha
This past week has been really difficult for me. The Orlando shooting has weighed heavily on my mind. I went to two different vigils that were equally moving. I can’t imagine the hurt of all the families and friends of the victims right now. There is just so much work to do.
I also got my grades back from spring semester on Monday, and let’s just say that I have a lot of work to do over the next two years of law school. Granted, I never wanted that “big firm life,” but it’s incredibly frustrating to know that I’ll likely miss out on some great jobs because of my grades. Being out and open/transitioning in law school has been incredibly taxing at times and has taken a toll on my grades. However, if I could do it over again I don’t know that I would have done anything differently. I’ve made it through the best way I knew how to, and I’m just going to have to hope that people can see that.
Today is especially difficult with it being Father’s Day. I haven’t seen my dad in almost a year and have only talked to him on the phone once. In a perfect world, I’d have someone to help me navigate the world of manhood, but I’m really just figuring it on my own. It’s important to me to be a good man in this world– a man of integrity, a Southern gentleman. Our relationship hasn’t necessarily been strained because of my coming out. He actually expressed a few positive sentiments in our one phone call, but then again he’s made many transphobic comments to my younger sister without me around. He’s just a horrible person that I don’t want to have a relationship with. At least over the years I’ve learned a lot of things not to do thanks to him.
So happy Father’s Day to all those dads that support their LGBTQ kids with unconditional love, those LGBTQ dads that have it tougher than the rest, those single moms who pull double duty, and all those who have acted like a dad when someone needed some fatherly love.
All the best,
If you’d like to donate to my top surgery fund, here’s a link: https://www.generosity.com/medical-fundraising/harris-top-surgery-fundraiser. All donations no matter the size are greatly appreciated!