Yesterday was officially three months on testosterone. From all the issues that I had just to start this process to all of the sleepless nights that I had once I started, being on T has definitely been quite a ride. Everything has been so worth it though. Most of my changes have been pretty much right on schedule with the timelines that I’ve found on the internet and what my trans guy friends have said. My sleep schedule has finally leveled out, which makes me a much happier camper. I am excited to see what these next two months holds for my voice. During months three and four I should have a decent drop. I’m being recognized more and more as male based on my appearance, but I often get called ma’am on the phone…
This past week Stonewall Bar Association (LGBTQ) put on a Trans 101 continuing legal education event that I went to. It was good to be surrounded by other trans people for an evening. I’m also glad that the bar association is trying to educate attorneys on trans issues. I also got to meet with Lost-N-Found Youth, an LGBTQ youth homeless agency, as part of the trans needs assessment that I’m doing for my internship. Despite trans people being 0.5% of the population, I found out that 8-10% of the youth that they help identify as trans. Today is “marriage equality day,” which is a great victory for the LGBTQ community. Today is a day of celebration, but we shouldn’t forget how far we have to go especially with the trans community.
All the best,
If you would like to donate to my top surgery fundraiser, please go to the website below. All donations are greatly appreciated!
Well another week has gone by, and another successful shot of testosterone has been administered. This past Friday was my seventh one, if I counted right, but we all know lawyers can’t do any sort of math… haha
This past week has been really difficult for me. The Orlando shooting has weighed heavily on my mind. I went to two different vigils that were equally moving. I can’t imagine the hurt of all the families and friends of the victims right now. There is just so much work to do.
I also got my grades back from spring semester on Monday, and let’s just say that I have a lot of work to do over the next two years of law school. Granted, I never wanted that “big firm life,” but it’s incredibly frustrating to know that I’ll likely miss out on some great jobs because of my grades. Being out and open/transitioning in law school has been incredibly taxing at times and has taken a toll on my grades. However, if I could do it over again I don’t know that I would have done anything differently. I’ve made it through the best way I knew how to, and I’m just going to have to hope that people can see that.
Today is especially difficult with it being Father’s Day. I haven’t seen my dad in almost a year and have only talked to him on the phone once. In a perfect world, I’d have someone to help me navigate the world of manhood, but I’m really just figuring it on my own. It’s important to me to be a good man in this world– a man of integrity, a Southern gentleman. Our relationship hasn’t necessarily been strained because of my coming out. He actually expressed a few positive sentiments in our one phone call, but then again he’s made many transphobic comments to my younger sister without me around. He’s just a horrible person that I don’t want to have a relationship with. At least over the years I’ve learned a lot of things not to do thanks to him.
So happy Father’s Day to all those dads that support their LGBTQ kids with unconditional love, those LGBTQ dads that have it tougher than the rest, those single moms who pull double duty, and all those who have acted like a dad when someone needed some fatherly love.
All the best,
If you’d like to donate to my top surgery fund, here’s a link: https://www.generosity.com/medical-fundraising/harris-top-surgery-fundraiser. All donations no matter the size are greatly appreciated!
For the first time since I started writing my blog back in August, I purposefully did not write a post on Sunday. I just couldn’t find the words to characterize how I feel.
Yesterday I woke up to the news of a horrific act of terror that had been carried out on my LGBTQ siblings in Orlando. The shooter murdered over fifty people and injured fifty more in a gay bar. For those of you who don’t know, gay bars are places of refuge and community for LGBTQ people. I will never forget the first time that I ever went to a gay bar. It was like coming home. I’ve met too many wonderful people to count in gay bars. I’ve also met too many very hurt human beings. They come in sad and angry at a world that can’t seem to understand that we’re all just people worthy of love and respect. A place of sanctuary for my community has forever been tainted.
I keep seeing the call for “prayers for Orlando,” but where was this compassion before? LGBTQ people are being murdered across the world. Over ten transgender people have been murdered this year in the United States. Over twenty transgender people were murdered last year. LGBTQ people are being fired, harassed, bullied, beaten, or worse all across the country. Your prayers aren’t worth much. Your action, on the other hand, is greatly needed. We need allyship to challenge the notion that LGBTQ people deserve anything less than respect. We need you to take the time to hear our stories and actually believe what we say. We need you to actively fight homophobia, transphobia, sexism, and racism because it wasn’t just the one shooter that killed all those innocent people. This act was a culmination of hatred years in the making.
Right now I am tired. I am angry. My heart aches for the victims and their families. We need more than prayers. We need love. We need action.
Another week on testosterone has come and gone. I put together a voice change video, but apparently I would have to upgrade my blog to a paid plan to upload it here. So, it’s just going to be on my Facebook page for now. If you’re not my Facebook friend you can comment on this post with your email, and I’ll send it to you.
I have also made a “Generosity” fundraising page (like a “Go Fund me”) for my top surgery costs. I hope that you will consider giving. Any size donation will make a huge difference for me! Here’s a link: https://www.generosity.com/medical-fundraising/harris-top-surgery-fundraiser/x/14312156.
I met another trans guy yesterday at a cookout hosted by the director of the LGBT Resource Center at UGA. He’s a cool dude, and I look forward to hanging out in the future. It’s always good to meet other trans guys.
My voice has taken another small drop based on the videos that I’ve made. I look forward to it continuing to drop. I talked to my doctor about the leg cramps that I’ve been getting, and there doesn’t seem to be a whole lot that I can do about it. I’m just going to keep eating bananas, drinking more water, and stretching. The trans guy that I met at the cookout said that they go away eventually…
All the best,